Link directs to a Feministe article on the piece because I wasn’t able to justify linking to the piece itself.
The Good Men Project publishes a piece written by a rapist who claims that him raping someone was the result of partying and drinking, and not, you know, raping someone.
I read the piece on accident. I saw that people were complaining about the Good Men Project in general and I went to their website and clicked on the article. I feel sick after reading it, violently sick, like I’m going to throw up. Here we have a website and organization that claims to be “feminist” publishing the account of an unapologetic rapist, who states in his confession that he is willing to continue raping people, if that’s the “risk” he has to take in order to party.
Maybe I shouldn’t have read the piece at all. It brought back a cascade of horrifying memories and realizations, like that the man who hurt me did so while I was too drunk to consent and probably doesn’t realize what he did (or maybe, like this guy, he does, and that’s even more horrifying). It reminded me that even though what happened to me was “technically” rape, I refuse to call it that because I was drunk, and even though I’m a flaming feminist, I still can’t fight the gnawing feeling that it was somehow my fault.
It reminded me that rapists are never really “rapists” that even in so-called feminist circles, they’re just nice guys who got “confused” or “misled” into raping someone. It made me realize that the story is never about the survivor, but always always always about the rapist.
I’m sick of the Good Men Project’s faux feminism. I’m sick of their rape apology and their victim blaming. If you identify as a male feminist, this is your chance to say something. Speak out against this project and what it stands for. This is not what good men do.